Edited By:
Rhonda S. Black
and
Jackie Bouchell

Omicron Tau Theta

Topic Area: Computers

. . . you can identify universities by their Internet domains.

. . . you go to the Help screen on the computer to seek assistance with your personal problems.

. . . there is a hurricane coming and the only things you think are important enough to take with you are your computer, printer and dissertation files.

. . . you keep your Bible by the computer.

You Know You are a Graduate Student If.....

. . . you have difficulty reading anything that doesn’t have footnotes.

. . . your books weigh more than your furniture.

. . . you’ve ever brought books with you on vacation and actually studied.

. . . you take research journal articles to the beach.

Topic Area: Library

. . . you are on a first name basis with the people in the interlibrary loan department.

. . . the reference librarians know you by name and run when they see you coming.

. . . you’ve ever crossed two state lines specifically to go to a library.

. . . you’ve ever worn out a library card.

. . . there’s a microfilm reader in the library you consider yours.

. . . you actually have a preference between microfilm and microfiche.

. . . you can tell the time of day by looking at the traffic flow at the library.

. . . you have the library’s summer hours posted at your desk.

Topic Area: Food

. . . you consider caffeine to be a major food group.

. . . you consider ibuprofen a vitamin.

. . . you can identify all 17 Ramen noodle flavors by the color of the packages.

. . . when vienna sausages are considered a gourmet meal.

. . . you can cook and read textbooks at the same time.

. . . you choose university functions to attend by the availability of free food.

Topic Area: Money

. . . your student loans total more than your own and your parents’ mortgages combined.

. . . your apartment is smaller that your parents’ garage (and more poorly furnished).

. . . the deferred payment schedule refers to more than a decade.

. . . your primary source of income comes from participating in psychology research projects.

. . . you have more photocopy cards than credit cards.

. . . they send you a monthly bill for your photocopy card.

. . . you’ve ever spent more than $50 on photocopying while researching a single paper.

Topic Area: APA Style

. . . you start referring to stories like Snow White, et al.

. . . you wonder if APA style allows you to cite talking to yourself as personal communication

. . . you know where to locate anything in the APA manual without looking at the table of contents.

. . . you don’t trust anything that doesn’t have footnotes or reference citations.

. . . you find yourself citing sources in a conversation.

. . . you’ve ever sent a personal letter with footnotes.

You Know You are a Graduate Student If.....

Topic Area: Sex and Interpersonal Relations

. . . somebody mentions sex and you start thinking of the mating habits of some animal (one that you have not dated).

. . . when the phrase it’s that time of the quarter is more dreaded than it’s that time of the month.

. . . you think PMS means Post-Master’s Syndrome.

. . . your idea of a great date is sharing an article in the library rather than a sundae at Dairy Queen.

. . . you enjoy a night at the library more than a night in the back seat at the drive-in.

. . . you start referring to your friends and family as human subjects.

Topic Area: Entertainment

. . . you look forward to taking some time off to do laundry.

. . . you see going out to dinner as a chance to gather observational data for your dissertation.

. . . you look forward to Saturday night so you can work on your paper.

. . . you really would rather read research journals than Cosmopolitan or Sports Illustrated.

. . . you like to spend Friday nights taking a statistics course because it will benefit you later.

. . . the concept of free time scares you.

. . . Saturday nights spent studying no longer seem weird.

. . . you hope it snows during spring break so you can get more studying in.

. . . you find taking notes in a park relaxing.

. . . you rate coffee shops by the availability of outlets for your laptop.

Topic Area: Statistics

. . . when someone asks you about your significant other, you immediately think about the validity and reliability of that person.

. . . you can analyze the statistical significance of appliances you cannot operate.

. . . when you go to dinner alone you say "an N of one" rather than a "party of one."

. . . you reflexively start analyzing those Greek letters before you realize it’s a sorority sweatshirt, not an equation.

Topic Area: Home Life

. . . you transform your dining room into an office and use your pantry to store books instead of food.

. . . your children have every happy meal toy known to man because you don’t have time to cook.

. . . your kids wear the same underwear for two days in a row because you don’t have time to do laundry.

Topic Area: Miscellaneous

. . . you can cite the plagiarism laws verbatim.

. . . you plan your day around the C-Span schedule.

. . . you are on a first name basis with the people at Kinko’s.

. . . you start wearing a Greek fisherman’s hat and liberally quoting Sartre.

. . . you start smoking a pipe and wearing tweed jackets with patches on the elbows of the sleeves.

. . . the University has lost your paper work for the THIRD time.

. . . you find yourself explaining to children that you are in the 20th grade.

. . . you have more doctors in your life than ER.

. . . all New Year’s resolutions are broken when classes start in January.

. . . your professor doesn’t show up to class and you discuss the readings anyway.

. . . you understand and laugh at jokes about Foucault.